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JOTD: The Thirsty Taliban.

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  • tbird430
    Super-Experienced
    • Jun 18 2007
    • 2648

    JOTD: The Thirsty Taliban.

    A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties..

    The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

    The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only 5."

    The Taliban shouted,"Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!

    "OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."

    Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead and said "Your idiot brother won't let me in without a tie!"

    sigpic
    The 1960 Ford Thunderbird. The WORLD'S most wanted car....

    VTCI Member#6287.
  • simplyconnected
    Administrator
    • May 26 2009
    • 8727

    #2
    I sent this joke to a dozen people after I collected myself up off the floor. - Dave
    Member, Sons of the American Revolution

    CLICK HERE to see my custom hydraulic roller 390 FE build.

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
    --Lee Iacocca

    From: Royal Oak, Michigan

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    • Yellowbird
      Experienced

      • Jun 18 2009
      • 259

      #3
      Thanks

      Jon,
      Like Dave I loved the joke. You made my rainy day brighter!

      Leonard
      sigpic

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      • tbird430
        Super-Experienced
        • Jun 18 2007
        • 2648

        #4
        Oh, Leonard your seeing rain down there in Azle, TX too?

        LOL!!!

        32.5 degrees up here now in Wichita Falls. Looks like the ice is coming...
        sigpic
        The 1960 Ford Thunderbird. The WORLD'S most wanted car....

        VTCI Member#6287.

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        • Anders
          Super-Experienced
          • Jan 19 2008
          • 2213

          #5
          Totally great story!!!!!
          sigpic..."Lil darling Ruth":)
          http://www.tbirdregistry.com/#33158

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          • SandyBoy
            Super-Experienced
            • Oct 31 2002
            • 836

            #6
            I heard this joke like 3 years ago. I recognzed it right away, but I enjoyed reading it again. It still make me laugh.

            I love Jewish jokes they are past hysterical !Even better
            when told wih a good Yiddish accent.

            But I can't put any on here 'cause day be to nasty,
            und I git me *** kicked offa here, qvichtly.

            Comment

            • SandyBoy
              Super-Experienced
              • Oct 31 2002
              • 836

              #7
              A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
              "Wonderful. What part is it?"
              The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

              and then.....

              What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

              The Italian - throws the cup and walks away in a fit of rage.





              The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
              The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee. The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.
              The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, buys himself a new cup of coffee and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.
              The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinaman, and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of coffee to the Palestinian.

              LAST ONE:

              Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He's late for a meeting, he's looking for a parking place, and can't find one.

              In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says: "Lord, if you find me a parking place, I promise that I'll eat only kosher, respect Shabbat, and all the holidays."

              Miraculously, a place opens up just in front of him.

              He turns his face up to heaven and says, "Never mind, I just found one!"
              Last edited by SandyBoy; January 28, 2010, 08:17 PM.

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              • SandyBoy
                Super-Experienced
                • Oct 31 2002
                • 836

                #8
                A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
                He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you".
                She answers: "My son, you cannot offend me. When you are as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you see and hear just about everything. There's nothing you could ask that would offend me."
                "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me".
                She responds: " Okay, but you have to be single and you have to be Catholic".
                The cab driver is very excited and says "Yes, I'm single and I'm Catholic".
                "OK" says the nun. "Pull into the next alley".
                The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush, but when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
                "My dear child" says the nun. "Why are you crying?"
                "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess. I'm married and I'm Jewish".
                The nun says "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Channukah party."

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                • SandyBoy
                  Super-Experienced
                  • Oct 31 2002
                  • 836

                  #9
                  ?

                  Deleted Question

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                  • tbird430
                    Super-Experienced
                    • Jun 18 2007
                    • 2648

                    #10
                    HAHAHAHA!!
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                    The 1960 Ford Thunderbird. The WORLD'S most wanted car....

                    VTCI Member#6287.

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                    • Guest

                      #11
                      !!!
                      Richard D. Hord

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                      • Yellowbird
                        Experienced

                        • Jun 18 2009
                        • 259

                        #12
                        Jon,
                        We got quite a bit of rain. Has filled up our lake, luckily not much ice. Went to the La Grave swap meet in Ft. Worth this morning. Even with the temp at 32 and wind blowing fairly strong quite a few people showed up to look and display. As far as T-birds only saw a '66 and '68. One vender had a '55 Crown Vic, '56 Sunliner and a '58 Sunliner. Wouldn't mind having the '58 Sunliner to go along with the '58 T-bird.

                        Leonard
                        sigpic

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                        • simplyconnected
                          Administrator
                          • May 26 2009
                          • 8727

                          #13
                          An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young Men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects..

                          1. A Bible.....?

                          2. A silver dollar.....?

                          3. A bottle of whisky.....?

                          4. And a Playboy magazine......?

                          'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself.. 'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.
                          If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!
                          If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.
                          But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

                          And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'

                          The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.

                          The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table..

                          With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

                          'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered,
                          'He's gonna run for Congress.'
                          Member, Sons of the American Revolution

                          CLICK HERE to see my custom hydraulic roller 390 FE build.

                          "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
                          --Lee Iacocca

                          From: Royal Oak, Michigan

                          Comment

                          • Anders
                            Super-Experienced
                            • Jan 19 2008
                            • 2213

                            #14
                            Wonderful!
                            sigpic..."Lil darling Ruth":)
                            http://www.tbirdregistry.com/#33158

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