Jotd

[tbird430]

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple", the neighbors said. The local newspaper reporter inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America, " explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. My wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse tumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead!!!

I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy??" She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."

"And from that moment on... we have lived happily ever after."

[Guest]

My turn

A young man and women got married. He was thinking about setting her straight right off the bat. One day when he came home from work he took off his pants and said here honey see if you can wear these. She replied I can't wear these pants. He replied thats right as long as we are married you will never wear the pants in this family.
She thought about it for a couple weeks. He came home from work one day and she took off her pants and said honey see if you can get into these. He replied I can't get into these. She replied thats right and until you change your attitude you will never get in them again!!!
And yes I always get the last word with my wife. YES MAM

[tarps3]

3 tough cowboys

3 tough cowboys out on a cattle drive decided to make camp for the evening.

As they were sitting around the campfire, being tough and proud cowboys as they were, the boastful tales began:

The first cowboy was from Utah and said: I once had to stop a rampaging bull bare-handed! I wrestled him to the ground by his horns and using only my teeth, castrated him as he lay there - made him a steer! That's how tough I am!

The second cowboy was from Colorado. He said: Oh yea? one time on the trail, I walked up on a 15-foot rattlesnake! I picked him up, tied him in a knot, yanked out his fangs for souvenirs and kept on walking...all without breaking stride. That's how tough I am!

The third cowboy was from Oklahoma.
He said nothing; he just stood their quietly stirring the coals with his p****.

[JohnG]

soon as I started reading it I knew the third guy was gonna be from Oklahoma.....