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-   -   Joke of the Day (http://squarebirds.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=16938)

Coral 08-01-2009 11:27 PM

Joke of the Day
 
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know exactly where
Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I've been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "You know Alexis, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"

"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed (censored) charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'."


"The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'


:D

gaffney1951 08-02-2009 01:05 AM

Thanks for the chuckle. Mike

LuckyJay 05-02-2014 11:11 AM

Joke of the Day
 
A lady walked into Ben Steffe's car lot to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect loaded Lexus and walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Sure enough, there standing behind her was Ben.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?" Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied,
"Madam, I'm very sorry to say! If you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap when you hear the price."

DKheld 05-02-2014 01:45 PM



Thats funny!!!
Thanks for the laugh....

Eric

DKheld 05-03-2014 10:26 PM

Just heard on the news that a snail was mugged late last night by a turtle.

The Police were asking the snail for details so they could catch the character.....

The snail said .... "I just can't tell you much - it all happened so fast."

:D

Dan Leavens 05-07-2014 10:18 AM

Guys thanks for the chuckles. Enjoy the day:D

YellowRose 06-10-2014 04:33 PM

Joke of the Day
 
From: Tom Cangialosi

Hey I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid---- kinda sad-----he told me he can stop anytime!!!

arizonajack 06-11-2014 05:44 PM

An atom goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I've lost an electron."

Doc says "Are you sure?"

Atom replies "I'm positive."

Ca58tbird 06-11-2014 11:32 PM

A blonde was trying to sell her old Tbird. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.”

“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.”

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”

“No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”

Dan Leavens 06-13-2014 09:52 AM

Jed thanks for the chuckles:)


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