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Joke of the Day

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  • Joke of the Day

    Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
    feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

    One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
    maybe he had a cold or something.
    But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know exactly where
    Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

    A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
    but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?"

    Bill replied, "I've been in jail."

    "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

    "Well," Bill said, "You know Alexis, that cute little blonde
    waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?"

    "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

    "Well, one day she filed (censored) charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'."

    "The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

  • #2
    Thanks for the chuckle. Mike


    • #3
      Joke of the Day

      A lady walked into Ben Steffe's car lot to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect loaded Lexus and walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Sure enough, there standing behind her was Ben.
      With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?" Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked
      "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
      Still smiling pleasantly, he replied,
      "Madam, I'm very sorry to say! If you farted just touching it, you're gonna crap when you hear the price."
      Last edited by YellowRose; August 29th, 2018, 09:42 PM.


      • #4

        Thats funny!!!
        Thanks for the laugh....



        • #5
          Just heard on the news that a snail was mugged late last night by a turtle.

          The Police were asking the snail for details so they could catch the character.....

          The snail said .... "I just can't tell you much - it all happened so fast."


          • #6
            Guys thanks for the chuckles. Enjoy the day
            Dano Calgary,Alberta Canada
            Thunderbird Registry
            58HT #33317
            60 HT (Sold )


            • #7
              Joke of the Day

              From: Tom Cangialosi

              Hey I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid---- kinda sad-----he told me he can stop anytime!!!

              Ray Clark - Squarebirds Administrator
              '59 Tbird "The Yellow Rose Of Texas" aka "Tweety Bird"
              "It's Hip To Be Square"
              Thunderbird Registry #33025 VTCI #11178

              Contact me via Private Message for my email address, or (Cell) 210-875-1411 (Home) 210-674-5781



              • #8
                An atom goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I've lost an electron."

                Doc says "Are you sure?"

                Atom replies "I'm positive."


                • #9
                  A blonde was trying to sell her old Tbird. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

                  One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

                  “That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.”

                  “Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.”

                  The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”

                  “No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”
                  Last edited by YellowRose; June 28th, 2017, 10:45 PM.
                  Best Birding,
                  Jed Zimmerman
                  '58HT and '48 Dodge Panel in MN
                  Thunderbird Registry #3810 VTCI#7652


                  • #10
                    Jed thanks for the chuckles
                    Dano Calgary,Alberta Canada
                    Thunderbird Registry
                    58HT #33317
                    60 HT (Sold )


                    • #11
                      Let's have some humour

                      What does a bear do in the woods?
                      Attached Files
                      sigpicSawmill Guru Registry #21424


                      • #12
                        Zoo time

                        Any vets out there?
                        Attached Files
                        sigpicSawmill Guru Registry #21424


                        • #13
                          Could you say no?

                          Downright cute!
                          Attached Files
                          sigpicSawmill Guru Registry #21424


                          • #14
                            Sno cone

                            Where did you think they came from?
                            Attached Files
                            sigpicSawmill Guru Registry #21424


                            • #15
                              I am enjoying these, keep 'em coming.........
                              Thunderbird Registry 21903 & 33405